Wings

I love this. Even when I have nothing to do, I have something to do because I can do what I want. I can take a nap or do homework (when I'm feeling like a good girl) or hit up a friend and go outside.

I do miss home, but not a lot. I miss the people at home more than I miss being at home. Sometimes I go on Facebook and see glimpses of what's going on and I get all sad. I feel so left out.

But, that's the natural order. When you go up onto higher mountains, you have to leave things behind. Family, friends, comfort. I've left it all, but I only feel the ache sometimes, when I stop and think. And there's barely ever any time to do that here.

I'm seeing adulthood on nearly eye-level now, which is terrifying. I still don't feel like I'm ready to be out on my own. It doesn't really matter if I'm ready or not, because it's already here. I'm just along for the ride. I know that this isn't really independence; my parents are still supporting me, paying for my tuition and food and laundry and everything. I don't know how to thank them enough for that. But in four short years, I could be out on my own. I could be married. I could be getting a Masters Degree. I could be working, living by myself. I could be preparing for a mission. Who knows?

All I know is that I'm excited. I might not be ready, but I'm confident now that when I jump, I've got wings on my back, if I need them. I'll probably falter and fall for a while, but eventually I'll get my wings sorted and I'll be flying.

I do miss you, though. I miss my childhood and all of the people that got me through it. I miss how easy things used to be. I miss being able to call anybody on my phone and hang out with them or talk to them. I miss being able to go home and eat like a pig, have my dinner made for me, write in my room for hours because everything else was being taken care of for me.

But, finally, I'm tasting freedom. And let me tell you, it's the best thing I've ever tasted.